God, please grant me
serenity to accept things I cannot change,
courage to change things I can
and wisdom to know the difference.
“Serenity Prayer” by Reinhold Niebuhr
What a straightforward, yet beautiful and deep prayer. I was immediately falling in love with these lines at the very first time I read them. It was a misty morning in March 2008 when I had my head clouded and my mind muted, miserably hoping for something to help me relieve my self-inflicted pain from being overly regretting my so called ‘failures’.
I don’t remember what my reaction was but I felt like as if the lines themselves suddenly slapped me right in my face. I knew what I really want, I chose the path to go there and have walked each an every single step carefully. Sadly it didn’t work, time to let go and look for the other way, but I just couldn’t. Inappropriately took self-blaming as introspection prevents me from forgiving myself and moving on.
I do need Serenity, Courage and Wisdom. Serenity will comfort me, help me bear the fact that things were already took place and there’s nothing I can do about it. Courage will tell me to move on, but not to let my dream go, for there are many ways to go there and few ‘failures’ aren’t worthy enough to stop me. Last but not least, Wisdom will tell me when to struggle and when to let go.
I was stunned by the prayer and the ‘slapping effect’ it had on me. Obviously these lines didn’t solve my problem nor cast my sorrow away. They’re just words after all. Problems were still there, sorrows were still haunting me and I was supposed to do something right to get rid each and every of them. Nevertheless, I learnt something from the prayer; to know not only what I really want but also what I really need. I knew what to ask in my prayer tonight, for HE is the one who can grant me both; what I really want and what I really need.
Can’t forget that misty morning in March 2008…